November 30, 2012
I have finally come to the end of my restriction time on paper! I am now twelve weeks out from surgery. I feel better and better as each week passes. Although, I am getting stronger I can still notice some physical restrictions within my own body. It is truly amazing when you pay attention to what your body is telling you. I feel twinges when I pick up something too heavy or use my right arm too much. My incision and sternum are still too tender to wear a bra comfortably. Jay jokes that I have given them up forever. No. No. When Jay and I run my incision still swells some from the jarring and my rib muscles cramp from the movement of my lungs. I also struggle a little when I try to grocery shop by myself. It is difficult to steer the cart once it starts getting heavy. I have been educated during this healing process at just how much we use our chest muscles everyday. These are all minor discomforts that are relieved with simple rest, stretching, or motrin. I am thankful everyday to have come so far in my recovery. I know that one day I will "feel like me" again. I just have to be patient.
With the end of my restrictions this week I got to return to work today. I was so excited and a little bit nervous and anxious. I am ready to get back into the daily grind with everyone at the hospital. It thrills me to have all my hospital friends back in my daily life. Today was great to be able to take care of my patients, think with my nursing brain, organize myself, start IVs, and just ne in the hospital. I loved all the hugs and shocked faces when staff and docs saw me behind the desk. It felt great to be there with them all again. With this return to normalcy, I am also challenged to keep myself "above the muck." It is so easy when life is normal and calm to overlook our blessings. I am less likely to be overly grateful and thankful for everything that comes into my life. One of my goals is to change this part of my life. I have spent the past three and half months reflecting, loving on my family, and growing in my Christian walk. I am no where near perfect and I know I will have days that I fall way short of my goals. But I know there are things that have changed in my heart and in my mind. Right now I see things in a more divine light. I want to stay this way. I know this means that I am going to have to work at it daily. Learn to keep my mouth shut when it shouldn't be opened, forgive, walk away, stay positive, and above all else remember to have time to praise God. There will be hard days and days when I'm in a bad mood, but I want to strive to succeed. When life is going like you plan it, it is hard to not get bogged down in this world with daily living and stresses. I want to make a point to love on others, spend quality time with my family, and rise up to the occasions. Now that my physical body is almost recovered, it is time to make sure that my mind stays renewed also.